What we loved—and wish we’d done differently—at our own small wedding
As a wedding photographer and videographer passionate about small, intimate, micro weddings and elopements, we’re not kidding when we say we know what it’s like to plan a small wedding—because we had one, too.
In 2017, Michael and I said “I do” underneath the canopy of a 100-year-old oak tree in historic Oakland, FL (just outside Winter Garden, 30 minutes west of downtown Orlando). If I remember correctly, we had just under 95 guests attending our wedding…about half of which was my extended family.
When I reflect on our own small wedding, it’s hard not to be filled with warm fuzzies at the beautiful moments we shared with one another and our closest family and friends. And remembering our own small wedding gives us tons of empathy for our brides and grooms who are planning their own affordable, micro-weddings or small weddings—and all the challenges that come with planning a small-scale celebration.
In the spirit of sharing our experience, we’re highlighting what we absolutely loved about our own small wedding—and what we wish we would have done differently.
WHAT WE LOVED ABOUT OUR SMALL WEDDING
1. We chose our dream wedding location
When we were planning our wedding as a freshly-engaged couple, we initially had different opinions on where we wanted to get married. Michael wanted an outdoor wedding ceremony, but I wanted to make sure we had indoor options in case of poor weather. One of the most significant advantages of having a small wedding was the freedom to choose our dream location: one that involved the best of both worlds. In the end, we chose to get married in an outdoor park surrounded by historic buildings and trees, and included an indoor space for getting ready and as a backup in case of bad weather (which we thankfully didn’t need!).
Because we had a smaller guest list, we weren’t tied to a big, traditional venue that would potentially only offer certain benefits that were important to us. This allowed us to really create our own adventure, planning a small wedding that resonated with our unique personalities, making our day even more meaningful.
2. We involved our family & friends
Having a small wedding really means “all hands on deck”. Because we didn’t hire a wedding planner, we really had to rely on the kindness of our loved ones to help plan and pull off our special day. From my aunt’s invaluable help coordinating the details of wedding planning to friends bringing my bridal party lunch while we were getting ready, we couldn’t have held a small wedding without the support of those around us.
The intimacy of our wedding allowed us to engage with our family and friends after the ceremony as well. We had more moments to greet everyone at our reception (and make sure we got something to eat as well!) since there were less guests present, and many of our friends had a significant role to play, from helping with preparations to offering heartfelt speeches. Their involvement—and our flexibility to spend more quality time with loved ones on our wedding day—added so much warmth and joy to our small wedding.
3. We had a small wedding party
With a small wedding, we opted for a smaller wedding party. While Michael and I are more about quality than quantity when it comes to our friendships anyway, our decision to keep our wedding party small allowed us to focus on the connections we shared with each person we chose to stand beside us. This also allowed us to save costs on bridal party gifts. We chose to select just 3 people each to join our bridal party and made sure to invite our other close friends to our bachelor/bachelorette festivities and spend time with those other friends during the week leading up to our wedding.
4. We got to save money for our future
Our small wedding allowed us to be financially savvy. We saved money by not having to accommodate a large number of guests, and as a result, we could invest more in our honeymoon and our life together after the wedding. We splurged on a dreamy getaway to Iceland—memories that we will cherish forever (and that lasted more than just the one day of our wedding)—and had extra cash to save towards our first house.
Also, much of our wedding decorations were DIY or even borrowed from others (read: free). We really didn’t end up spending much at all on decorations because of the generosity of others and their willingness to help set up and take down the decor on our wedding day. While decorating your wedding is a fun aspect of wedding planning, at the end of the day, it can easily become a huge money trap for things that you and your guests really won’t remember after your wedding day.
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5. We had a private “first dance”
While we had the traditional first dance at our wedding reception, one of the most special moments of our wedding was the private “first dance” (or second dance, technically) that we held before our send-off. This was recommended to us by our day-of coordinator, actually: to have the DJ play a special song meaningful to the two of us as our guests lined up for our send-off outside our wedding reception. We danced alone in our empty reception hall and got to share a meaningful moment made just for us.
WHAT WE WISH WE’D DONE DIFFERENTLY AT OUR SMALL WEDDING
1. Allowed more time for wedding photos
One thing we wish we’d done differently at our small wedding was to plan more time for wedding photos. Because our outdoor wedding ceremony site was separate from our wedding reception site, we had to find a third location to take our wedding photos. By the time we finished family photos at the ceremony site, we only had 15 minutes to take our bridal photos including travel time. Big yikes.
Were we to plan our small wedding all over again, I would absolutely build more time into our day-of schedule to make sure we had more time for our wedding photos and bridal portraits of the two of us. This is why, as a wedding photographer ourselves now, we help advise on our clients’ day-of schedules to ensure they have the proper time to capture these priceless moments without rushing.
2. More moments alone
We would have liked to steal a few more moments alone, ideally right after our wedding ceremony. As an introvert, the hustle of our wedding day took a toll on me and it wasn’t until we were finally alone at the end of the day that I felt like I could breathe. While I enjoyed every minute of our celebration with friends and family, I wish we’d taken advantage of the opportunities for quiet moments together that a small wedding has to offer.
Planning a small wedding offers a unique advantage in that it just doesn’t feel like a “production” the way that big weddings do. A small wedding is all about you, your future spouse, and your closest friends and family, not about impressing people with an elaborate party where everydetailmustbePERFECT. However, even with this intimate focus, it’s easy during a small wedding to forget to pause and take in the joy of the day with just the two of you.
3. Staying true to ourselves & incorporating our own aesthetic
Certain circumstances in my immediate family required us to prioritize the needs of our family over ourselves at our small wedding. While we wish life had dealt us a different hand at the time we were getting married, we don’t regret the decisions we made at the time. However, in an ideal world, we would have incorporated more of our own choices into our day, allowing it to be an even truer reflection of who we are as a couple.
This also extended into our decisions to borrow much of our wedding decor in order to save money. The one drawback to this plan is that borrowing other brides’ wedding decor limited us to their styles and tastes instead of our own. While everything turned out beautifully, we simply chose to go for savings over personal touches—and that’s okay.
4. Investing more in wedding photography & videography
We’re happy with how our photos turned out, but boy was it challenging to find a quality photographer within our limited budget (we were fortunate to hire a talented friend who gave us a mad discount). Looking back, while all ended well, we wish we actually had invested a bit more in wedding photography and videography, as these are the reminders of our wedding day that we continually look back at and treasure. At the time, I didn’t realize how important this investment would be to us in the future (ironic considering our job as a wedding photographer and videographer now…) and it was only afterwards that I realized that our wedding photos really were the one thing that lasted from the biggest day of our lives. We love how our photos turned out, but just wish we’d prioritized this aspect of our wedding day a bit more highly!
In the end, our small wedding was a beautiful and intimate celebration of love, and we wouldn't change that for the world. It was a meaningful day filled with joyful moments and heartfelt memories, one that not only allowed us to celebrate with loved ones but also allowed us to invest in our future life together, a decision we’re continually grateful we made.
I hope our reflections on our own small wedding can help you plan your own small wedding. If you’re looking to capture your special day with the care and attention you deserve, we’re here to help. Your wedding day should be a reflection of your unique love story, and it’s your most cherished moments that will last forever. Let’s chat about how we can help you preserve the most precious memories of your wedding day for years to come.
